SHAME

I just finished reading “Shame” a book by Jasvinder Sanghera (the fact that I am an avid reader I must start another section on my blog for book reviews). Well first things first, the book really made me think about the horrendous life some of the girls lead even in a progressive country like the UK.
I can’t even begin to imagine the plight of some girls; their upbringing makes them so submissive that they are never able to voice their opinions. On the other hand we have been taught to express ourselves, to tell the difference between right and wrong, to make our own decision.
This book is a true story of a Punjabi girl whose parents migrated to England back in 1950’s. Still nothing changed for them, they never made an attempt to know any one outside their Punjabi community, never tried learning the language spoken there and sent their daughters to school just because the laws were strict.
They did everything to pull down their spirits to remind them where they come from and what is expected out of them. A boy in such a family is always considered superior given all the luxuries and the freedom even if he is the least deserving of all. And the girls are expected to get married to strangers (as it is not considered proper for them to meet the possible suitor before marriage).
Jasvinder tells the horrible tale which is heart wrenching and sends a chill down your spine. It made me realize how lucky and privileged I am to be able to lead a normal life. The book made me cry, the one thing she ran away from was her family. I wonder if in time of need your family will not stand by you then who else you can trust and turn to in this whole world.

I am just being Honest

I have been spending lot of time online of late. No, I am not researching anything fancy like:

• tips to tone your legs in just 5 minutes, gosh is it possible I must be dreaming
• ten best things to say to your boy-friend
• how to curb an irritating colleague who also happens to be smart and bags all the good projects
• what’s hot this winter
• how to increase traffic on your blog
  

I am sure I can just go on and on about it but I won’t since I need to talk about why am I or rather how am I spending my time online. I have been breaking my head on Naukri.com looking for PHP programmers. It’s more like a favor I am doing for my brother (well it will be wrong to call it a favor coz he said I can (or was it must?) bill him at the end of the month and the agony I am going through I have every intention of doing that) who is running his own business and doing very well for himself.
I was so tired of hearing, ‘let me think about it’; ‘I will call you back’, ‘I am not interested’, ‘I have just changed my job a month back’, and then I had had enough to call it a day. Who says unemployment is a major problem in India? Nobody seems to want a job. I keep calling every prospective candidate rattling same stuff, “salary is not a constraint for the right person, and we are conducting interviews even on Sundays” so much for inducing people to come for an interview and still no one seems to be bothered.
All this takes me back to the time when I was working and busy meeting recruitment targets. It makes me wonder that how I could do something for so long that bored me to tears. Quitting my job last year was the smartest decision I have ever made (infact I feel like treating myself to something nice for not finding another job as I was supposed to be on a short sabbatical and return back rejuvenated but never mind) and I am proud of the fact that I don’t get Monday blues and I don’t have to drag myself to work.

Buddha and Varanasi

This picture was taken in Varanasi at Sarnath. It is the place where Buddha gave his first sermon to the group of five suffering monks. I am not a staunch follower of Buddhism but I believe in lot of his teachings. I have read four noble truths and it did inspire me and changed my perspective towards lot of things. The four noble of truths were spoken in his first sermon which are namely:
Suffering exists
There is a cause for suffering
Suffering can be ended
Ways to end suffering

My visit was due to this holy city (Varanasi) for a very long time, I was born there but had never been there to look around, may be few breezy visits when I was a kid but nothing more than that. Another thing that fascinates me about this city is Ganges and the Ghats and thousands of temple overlooking the river (Ganges) with remarkable architecture.

Propose or no propose...I want to meet his Mom

I am talking about the time when I completed my MBA and took up a job in an extremely distressing organization, which made me work round the clock (ofcourse I was too gullible to realize it then) and surprisingly I enjoyed it.
My mum (who has always been worried about my social life) was silent for a year and then started hinting that its time I find a suitable boy to get married to and she doesn’t mind lining up few. Obviously, I ignored it and went on with my life.
I had no time to mingle around with friends (many of them had stopped calling me on weekends too) let alone relationships. Actually it wont be fair to blame them, whenever they called I used to be in office (sounding distracted and busy even at 9 in the night) and I got used to hearing stuff like, “get a life”, “what are you doing with yourself”, “do you even have time to spend all that money you are making”, and I used to give my standard reply “I’ll call you back”, which ofcourse I never did.
Anyway coming back to mum, she couldn’t bear it any more and started telling me about all the possible suitors (in the mean while, I met a wonderful man and was in a very serious relationship) so finally I had to tell her about my boy friend (I call him baabu) and that I was in a stable relationship and things might lead to marriage. Mum was very excited and then followed all the obvious questions like how did you meet him, his family, what is he doing, why you didn’t tell me earlier blah blah.
Well things were fine till the time mum heard that baabus’ mom is coming to visit him for a week. Now she wanted to meet her. I tried explaining things to her that we haven’t spoken anything about marriage yet so I don’t see a point in making our families meet.
She gave me a long look and said, “Is it another ‘college time pass affair’ or you two serious about each other”. I was embarrassed to the core. “Ofcourse, we are serious”, I managed in my weak voice.
“Good’, she smiled ‘then what’s the harm in meeting his mom, it isn’t that she lives near by, god knows when she will come next” (she lives in England).
Now, this was getting too much I had to explain it to her.
“Mum, I mean we do discuss about living together, (she gave me a horror-struck look and before she could take it in a wrong sense I corrected) after marriage ofcourse, but nothing is formal till now, I mean he hasn’t proposed.
Now she was truly confused, and looked at me as if I was talking French. “Hasn’t proposed? But just now you said you both are serious about each other and talk about marriage”.
Oh god spare me this, it’s hard, more than hard.
“Mum, I love him and he loves me but I would like him to propose, as in ask me if I would like to marry him” (yes… I have done it).
“Ok, so this is encouraging you to stop me from meeting his mom. Simple, if he has not proposed then you propose, in the end you both want to be together who proposed and who didn’t doesn’t matter afterwards”.
Well, she was right and gone are the days when girls would wait forever to be asked, I could do that but the question was if I wanted to do that? I was happy with my current arrangement for the time being and anyway why should I be the one to break the age old cliché who ever wants to do that can happily do it.
“No mum I want him to do it and I don’t think now is the time we still have some time to reach that stage”. Now she truly lost her patience, “do you see yourself getting married to him”?
“Ofcourse I……”
“Fine, propose or no propose I want to meet his mom. Let me meet her we can decide when is the good time for the wedding and all the other arrangement and then you both can take all the time in the world to propose each other”.
“What…???(I had a strange expression on my face). Mum it doesn’t work that way”.
But she had already stormed out and I didn’t want to argue more. Well I didn’t have much of a choice and I explained everything to baabu, who was very patient and considerate. I thought all sort of cultural difference would come in to play havoc but to my surprise it went well without a single disagreement.And I am safe till his mom’s next visit.

I promise I will go to the gym tomorrow

The one thing that has been doing rounds is ofcourse being a fitness freak. And if you don’t feature in the member list of a reputed gym or practicing yoga under the supervision of some known name (Power yoga to be precise, that’s a new buzzword in town) you seriously need to do some catching up. I haven’t seen this madness for staying fit ever. Needless to say, I had joined a gym before all this euphoria began about being fit (which in turn became a status symbol) and even if it existed, before i could broaden my horizon to notice, I don't give a damn, and I am not going to go deep into it.
Ok, here is the story. While killing time on New years’ Eve (Dec 2006) as I had nothing substantial to do I started listing my resolution for the new year and suddenly my New Year Resolutions from previous years came back to haunt me which read something like this:
I will go jogging no matter what (New Year Resolution 2004).
I have to start jogging from this year (New Year Resolution 2005).
Enough is enough I have to get strict about my health and include jogging in my list of priority(New Year Resolution 2006).
If I term it as a "New Week Resolution" it wont be an exaggeration as every Sunday before hitting the sack I would mumble to myself, “I have to wake up early tomorrow to go for a jog” and diligently without any regret would switch off the alarm and go back to sleep. And obviously, how can I start something in the middle of the week? Monday seems more appropriate and come Monday, the same old story would repeat and finally I used to give up.
Therefore, I had my own reasons to join a gym and not because it’s a new fad.
I was regular and dedicated for a month, god only knows how I managed it, but I did. But then, I went on a short vacation, impact, I couldn’t go to the gym for a month. How could I? I had genuine reasons; I was snowed under at work and then the same routine followed, tomorrow for sure, Saturday is my day off I will manage some how, ok Sunday for sure… uhh… forget it I’ll start from Monday.
God only knows when will I finally set foot in the gym but I know one thing for sure I am not renewing my membership.

I love taking pictures

I absolutely love these pictures. Both were taken (by me) on the way to Corbett Park. I enjoyed the drive as much as the fresh and clean air. Nostalgia creeps in each time when I look at these pictures. I had decided about that trip on an impulse to get away from the madness of this city. And I had a lovely time.

I never knew anything about photography ever. Though, I went through a phase in my life where Photography as a hobby sounded cool and the idea appealed to me. So I tried my hand at my brother’s “Very Technical” camera. It took me days just to figure out and understand how you switch it on, how to zoom (before clicking and after clicking a picture), the different modes in which you can take a picture and so on and so forth. And as technologically challenged as I am (my sister says that to me often) I finally gave up. Like an amateur I used to take pictures and by fluke if it turned out to be good I used to marvel at myself. Though it will be wrong to call myself even an amateur photographer but then who cares. May be I don’t understand the technicalities but I love taking pictures and I do that often now.

De-cluttering helps... Trust me

I was reading a book recently which said de-cluttering has something to do with Feng-shui which will ultimately transform your life. I don’t know what transformation I am looking forward to but then I sat down yesterday to do this hideous task.
Of-course this de-cluttering had nothing to do with that book, I was meant to do that anyway. My mom had been nagging me for days and I too felt little short of space when ever I opened my wardrobe. So here I was.
Old trousers (some still hanging with the price tag on), Shirts, t-shirts, handbags, and jeans I don’t care about any more, may be they are out of fashion or I don’t fit in them anymore, but I strongly feel the former is true. There is lots of stuff which are still hanging there in the hope that I might wear it some where, sometime may be coz the time when I bought it, it was in fashion and you can still be seen in them (even though I am not comfortable wearing them) or some which I bought a size smaller (since I picked it up from a designer wear and that was the last size available) but it was irresistible and was a “must have”. I was sure, I would lose some weight in the future (not that I am fat but some stuff just looks good on “ftv type” models). And well the rest (stuff I should have thrown, if not 1 year than may be 6 months back) still could find a place in my wardrobe coz I just couldn’t bring myself to throw them away, out of love (or so I think), its still in decent condition (mum’s version), it will again come back in fashion soon and so on and so forth.
Well enough of those will be, would be, might be. Its time to discard everything, which is not touched in last six months. Phew, my wardrobe looks spacious and I will finally be able to shop for that new pair of jeans and may be few more t-shirts and obviously some more stuff which is in vogue, now that I have enough space to accommodate stuff. Seriously, de-cluttering helps. Every time I open my wardrobe it looks clean and spacious and nicely arranged. Every one out there must try. I guess I understand what they meant in that book by talking about Feng-shui and transformation. May be all they meant was you will feel clean, nice and will find stuff in your wardrobe easily and not spend hours finding something when you are hard pressed for time which results in last minute change in wardrobe making you further late.